Saturday, September 09, 2006

Corporate humour : Five stages of drunkenness

Five stages of drunkenness
Stage 1: Smart
 This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always �right�. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very �wrong�. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are �smart�.
Stage 2: Good looking
 This is when you realise you are the �best looking� person in the entire bar and that people want you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they want you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still �smart�, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3: Rich
 This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still �smart�, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn�t matter how much you bet because you are �rich�. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the �best looking� person in the world.
Stage 4: Bullet proof
 You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are �smart�, �rich� and hell, you�re �better looking� than they are anyway!
Stage 5: Invisible
 This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because �no one can see you�. You dance on a table to impress the people you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you�re still �smart� you know all the words.


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