Shredded Similes, Mutilated Metaphors

For your entertainment, more actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student's essays.

- He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

- The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

- Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.


- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Blog post at the geek blog!